The Prince and the Bear
by Sandy Star
Summary: "How am I supposed to give a summary for this story? Surely my appearance has said enough? Who am I, you ask? Why, only the best prince there is in existence! The most handsome, smartest-" "Don't believe him, he's lying." "Shut up, Bear! It's not a lie! Stop trying to ruin my life!" (A oneshot parody of 'The Bear') Rated T for crazy stuff.


**A/N:** This is my retelling of a fairytale similar to 'Allerleirauh' called, 'The Bear' which can be found on Wikipedia. The characters will be as how I interpreted them, although it is sort of a parody version so don't take it too seriously. I didn't half the time either XD The male lead may get annoying to the point of being hated (he pretty much is) but please_ bear_ with it. Haha... I'll quit making horrible puns now...

As for the people who read _Joy's Unhappiness, _I apologise for taking so long. I had exams and... writing in this guy's point of view is more difficult than I thought! I had temptations to make him nicer... but that wouldn't be right. Also, this takes place long before _J.U._'s characters were even born (save for one) and it has hardly anything to with it. Just a little spoiler to do with Arryn, although it's not very important.

**The Prince and the Bear**

A handsome boy smirked mischievously at me, showing his sparkling, flawless, white teeth. He had a perfectly shaped nose, mesmerising emerald green eyes and glossy, smooth gold hair combed back neatly.

"Oh! I'm so beautiful that it's should be a crime for people to look at me. No. Not just people. Animals and plants too. Everything in the world!"

I heard a snort from beneath me. I lowered my hand mirror. "Do be quiet Typhoon. _You're _just jealous."

The ebony horse let out another bothered snort.

...He is a jealous horse, definitely. He may be beautiful due to the special care he receives in our stables but he is just as prideful.

"No need to worry, Typhoon! For you are a great horse! _I_ chose you after all! Me! You should be honoured!"

"...But you'll never match up to me of course." I added.

Typhoon let out a noise that sounded something like 'Pfft' and clopped along the road a little faster.

I think that noise came out wrong. It is impossible for anyone to laugh at me. I'm far too magnificent!

We reached the forest I was looking for and unmounted Typhoon. It's not like I go out to the forest on a daily basis but I had a spontaneous urge to go hunting. It was a special opportunity to show off my amazing skills to the world!

"Come out all wild things, for today is your lucky day! It is your one and only chance to see the great and wonderful Prince Charming!" I declared. My name suited me so well. "Give me your hides so I can decorate my glorious chambers with it! Why must you sacrifice yourself, you may ask? Because, I am Prince Charming! The one and only best thing to ever exist-"

"SHUT UP! People are trying to sleep here!"

My head whipped round to the direction of the voice. Who dares try to command me to 'shut up'? I shot an arrow at the bushes with my trusty bow.

"AAAH!" I heard a high-pitched scream. Of course, my arrow hit the mark. "That scared me! Fine, you can gloat all you want. Just leave me alone!"

Or not... Well I won't miss next time. Wait, what kind of creature screams with a voice like that and speaks semi-intelligently? "Show yourself, fiend!"

"What? And get myself killed by you? No thanks."

Not a very wise creature. "Why would you not? It should be an honour to-"

"Yeah, yeah I heard you once. No need to repeat it."

I was interrupted again! "No one insults me like that!" I took out my sword. "Seems that you have forgotten your place."

"Okay, okay! Calm down!" The thing came out the bushes with its paws up for surrender. It was a bear. I did not expect it to be such a large creature. How could I miss with my arrow?!

I had never come across a bear before, let alone a talking one! I wonder if it would speak with its head on the wall...

A manic grin made its way on my face before I could help it.

It must have scared the bear because it quickly got on its knees. "Please don't kill me!" It begged. "I'm sorry for disrespecting you! I'll tell you something." It straightened up. "I talk right? You should know that I'm not an ordinary bear. You shouldn't kill me or else it would be a huge waste. Since... I bring good luck! Um... Yeah! Just from meeting me, you are blessed now! Kill me and you will be cursed with bad luck!"

Hmm... It makes a fair point. Maybe I should take advantage of it... Although I am blessed enough already, it doesn't hurt to have more...

I sheathed my sword. "All right. I shall spare you. You can be useful... Typhoon! Come over here!"

He grunted and the ever so faithful horse trotted over ever so slowly.

… Sheesh, he sure loves taking his sweet time. "Hurry up!"

Once he was within reach I opened the saddlebag and pulled out the item I was looking for.

_Snap!_

I held out the rope and approached the bear.

"Shouldn't you be glad? From now on you shall live with me!"

"W-what!? No! S-stay away!"

"Too bad. You're coming anyway."

The loud scream echoed through the forest, making the nearby birds take to the skies.

xxxxxxxxxx

I got the bear on a leash. There was resistance at first but it soon realised how futile its efforts were. I held the rope in a threatening grip as the bear begrudgingly went along with me.

Silly bear decided to complain. "Couldn't you at least let me ride on your horse? I'm tired of walking."

"Let you ride on my horse?! Preposterous!" I sniffed. "As if I would stoop to your level and waste my energy on _walking_!"

"Ugh! Some prince you are. For your information, I am a _lady_! How can you call yourself a gentleman?" the (apparently) she-bear crossed her arms.

"Ha! Gentleman you say!" I scoffed. "Are you pertaining to those idiots who always put women before themselves? I will never be like them, for I am superior to everyone else! It would take a goddess to make me bow down! A woman who's beauty and intelligence out stands my own!"

Not that anyone like that can ever exist. I am the best!

"Is that so?" The bear sped up her pace to walk side-by-side with me. She gave me a scrutinising gaze. No doubt she was admiring my beauty.

"Pfft." Was that a laugh?!

"Aren't you aiming too high? I mean you have a nice face... but your stature! You're so small! How old are you? Fourteen?" The bear patted my head mockingly.

Curses! Why is it that its paw could even reach the top of my head whilst I'm on horseback?!

I whacked her paw away. "H-how rude! I'll have you know that I am twenty! I am no child!"

"Whaat!? You're older than me!? Oh, then you must be a dwarf prince! This is my first time meeting a dwarf prince..."

"I-I am not a dwarf!"

"Whatever you say kiddo. Pfft-huah-huah-huah!"

This bear is starting to get on my nerves with her strange laughter! I should just put her down! But then the merit in keeping her in the first place would be lost...

I huffed in annoyance and kicked Typhoon's sides to gallop. Which will force the bear to be fall flat on her face and be dragged on the ground _painfully_ all the way to the castle.

Typhoon gave a loud neigh. However, something wasn't right. Instead of feeling the wind in my face, I felt myself flipped in the air.

I screamed as I flew in the air when it should have been the bear yelping in pain. Y-yes, I did scream. The great me screamed in fear. Even though I am a superior species of human, I did not have the ability to fly unfortunately.

I landed in the mud in the most ungraceful manner and the culprit of the heinous crime just looked at me triumphantly.

"Ow! Why did you do that you stupid horse?! Now my clothes are all dirty!" I peeled myself off the ground, picking at my clothes. "Gah! And these were my best hunting gear too!"

The bear clutched her stomach in laughter. "Pfft-huah-huah-huah!" Her eyes met with Typhoon's. "That was brilliant! What was your name? Typhoon? I think you and I will get along very well!"

And I'll have to get back to the castle looking like this?! This day is not going well for me...

Ah, no matter. The heavens favour me so things will get much better. Especially with this bear in my possession...

"Pfft-huah-huah-huah!"

"Stop laughing!"

xxxxx _Bear's POV_ xxxxx

"Oh my. What happened to you honey?"

A woman waiting for us at the front of the castle ran up to us. She fluttered around Charming inspecting his every inch. She had a crown on her head. She must be the Queen and Charming's mother.

"Why, you are covered in mud! What happened?"

"Blame that." Charming pointed at me. The queen's inquisitive eyes turned to me. And she screamed.

Pfft. Typical reaction of people who see me. Apart from hunters like Charming, even if he was only a hunter for a day (Only I would assume so. I was fortunate enough to avoid meeting any until now). It was so fun, inflicting so much fear on other people just for looking like this.

I grinned. I had no idea what I looked like trying to grin in this form. I haven't seen myself in the mirror. But I think it scared the woman more. "Hi." I said, as if greeting a neighbour rather than the queen of a whole kingdom.

"Eek! It talks!"

And she fainted.

Her son panicked. "Mother?! Aah! We need a doctor!"

Seriously? She has just fainted from shock. I think this guy needs to get out more often. Well, not that I'm one to talk... "There would be a doctor in the castle right?"

The panicked man (it's difficult to call him a man even in my mind!) stopped freaking out and coughed. "Right. I knew that."

I rolled my eyes.

Charming moved to pick up his mother from the ground. He seemed to be putting a lot of effort into it and he struggled enormously. After all that arrogance and he doesn't have the strength to do that?!

"Pfft-huah-huah-huah-huah!"

Breathe... I need to... breathe!

Typhoon nudged me. He neighed meaningfully.

I stopped laughing. "Hmm?"

The prince still hadn't picked his mother up and the poor woman was getting dusty.

I shoved him aside. "You're too slow. You'll hurt her from your effort. Leave it me."

"Hey, how dare you-"

I carried the queen up bridal style. What? It was the least I could do for her. It was my fault she fainted in the first place and I should at least get on her good side. Somehow...

He stared at me with a gaping mouth. Then he pouted. "I-I could have done that too! I was just a little tired. That's all!" he sulked. Pfft, like a child.

Charming climbed back on Typhoon. I rose an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be letting Typhoon carry your mother? I'm sure she would hate to hear that she was being carried by a bear."

"What? I'm not getting off. And who says she has to know?"

I tutted at him, shaking my head. How terrible. He's not even good to his mother.

xxxxxxxxxx

A selection of cooked meals let off an irresistible aroma that my nose inhaled greedily. I had to resist drooling. I may look like a bear but I'm no dog!

"So... I can have whatever I want?" I confirmed.

"Yes you may, Bear." Prince Charming took a seat at the dining table. Apparently, Bear was my name now. How _creative_. "I took you in as a guest and it would be improper for me to starve you. I would let you get your own food but I cannot risk you escaping. You are my good-luck charm after all."

Ah, don't tell me I'm going to be imprisoned again! Ugh! Just when I finally got away from that hell-hole, I fall into another one!

Well... There is one thing I should try to accomplish here that I could not over _there_.

I jump into a seat next to the queen and start stuffing my face with food. I wasn't deprived of food or even the fact that it was gourmet high-quality food mattered. It was just... _Warm cooked food_! I hadn't eaten any in ages! If there was something I missed from my old life, it was _this_! Goodbye raw nuts and berries! And definitely the charcoal fish!

The queen scrunched up her face in disgust and Charming continued to eat delicately. He had explained to his mother why I was brought here and she took to the tale like it was... a tale. She had suspicions but hey she needed proof. Then again, don't I need it also?

Ahaha... I haven't thought this through...

The queen lifted a hanky to her mouth, her eyes barely tolerating me. "Could you not slow down a little, Bear? You should show some table manners to the royalty."

I pretended that I didn't hear her. I had a feeling that it was going to bite me in the backside later but...

At least while I'm here, I'll have my fun whether Charming (or his mother) likes it or not!

xxxxxxxxxx

A week later, Prince Charming asked me a question at the dinner table. One that I got me a little apprehensive.

"Hey, Bear. You said you would bring luck. But nothing has changed since you got here. Did you lie?"

I gulped down the food and grinned uneasily. The Queen sent me a curious look. "That's right. You may be able to talk but you haven't proved that you have luck..." she smirked.

I thought on the spot. "Er... The next ball! On the next ball you will meet a girl. Um, no – sorry – I meant a goddess. Yes, a goddess! She will be the perfect woman for you Prince Charming!"

Fibs! All fibs!

Charming slammed a fork on the table. "A likely story, Bear. A woman worthy of me will never exist! I will be going to a ball in the neighbouring kingdom in a month. We'll see if you are telling the truth then. If you were telling a lie then your life shall be the penalty!"

I chewed a chicken leg but it didn't taste as nice as it usually did. What have I gotten myself into now?

xxxxxxxxxx

I paced back and forth in the castle gardens. What do I do? If I don't conjure up a flawless girl for the stupid prince then I shall lose my life!

"Oh woe is me!" I cried.

_POOF!_

I blinked at the short man (seriously much shorter than Charming and that is saying something) who magically appeared out of nowhere. He rubbed his hands together greedily.

"If you want help then I can lend it... All you have to do is give me something valuable in return..." he said deviously.

I eye balled him suspiciously, "You can't be that rumoured 'Rumpelstiltskin' who forced a queen into almost giving up her baby... Could you?"

"N-no! I'm just a friendly old gnome who wants all the best for you!"

"Then you wouldn't if want anything in return, would you?" I retorted.

The gnome paused for a moment trying to think of a response and then he clicked his tongue. "Why have young maidens gotten so smart recently? What happened to the good old days when they were so gullible?" he muttered and disappeared in another puff of smoke.

"Thought so." I sighed. "If only I could teleport like that..."

Ah! I could! I escaped from _that place_ using the wheelbarrow...

...The wheelbarrow I was forced to abandon when I got kidnapped by a certain pig-headed prince.

Then I remembered the witch's words:

"_I will infuse this wheelbarrow with magic, so that it can take you anywhere you wish in an instant. Think of the place you want to go and, regardless of whether you have been there or not, you will teleport to that place. Think of a forest and you will be sent to a random forest nearby."_

"_However, if you happen to be separated from the wheelbarrow, you need not worry about losing it. Call for it and it will appear before you."_

So I will have to call for it... How am I supposed to do that?! Just shout: 'Oh, Mr Wheelbarrow~ Come over here~' and it'll come over like a pet dog?

Well, is there a better idea?

"Wheelbarrow!" I yelled.

I probably looked crazy shouting out such a thing but I crossed my fingers hoping it would work.

_POOF!_

In a cloud of glittery smoke, the wheelbarrow appeared. Boy, was I glad to see it! I could kiss it! Only, it was covered in mud and leaves...

Okay, now I can get out of here!

I hopped into the wheelbarrow.

… This seems too easy. Am I going to 'poof' away from here and that idiot prince will never hear from me again? No. I'm going give that moron what he deserves. A good slap in the face of reality, that's what.

So, phase one of my ultimate plan.

Go back 'home'... I can't do anything empty handed after all. I'm just going to fetch some things and go...

I just hope I don't get caught...

_POOF!_

xxxxx_ Charming's POV_ xxxxx

"Hey look!"

"It's _that_ prince you know."

"Oh, you mean that stupid one who thinks he's on top of the world?"

"Yeah, yeah! The last time I tried to speak to him, he wouldn't stop talking about himself! He really grates on my nerves!"

"It's best to stay away from him before he drives you insane, right?"

"Yes! Oh my god, there's Prince Leonard!"

"Where?! Eeeeeek!"

Honestly, women can never be worth my time. They are so noisy and obnoxious. Their voices grate on _my nerves_!

What's so great about Leonard anyway? I'm a hundred times better than he is! Why are all those squealing women crowding around him? How blind can they be?

I stood by a pillar of the ballroom by myself. For some reason, no one wanted to grovel on their knees at my gloriousness. Feh, everybody here is blind!

I glanced around the room every few minutes. It's not like I believed Bear's words! There can't possibly be a woman who is better than me! Besides, looking around at the ballroom now only proves Bear wrong. Nobody is good enough to catch my eye. A certain somebody's head is going to roll when I get back...

The doors to the ballroom at the top of the staircase opened up. A new addition? No matter. No woman could possibly-

…!

What was that sound? It was awfully loud in my ears. Someone stop it now!

An unsteady beat drummed in my chest. The feeling spread to my ears. What is this sensation?!

The person who came in was an angel. No, that word was too degrading. She has got to be a goddess descending down now from the heavens!

S-such beauty! I could see her eyes now, a captivating bright green sparkling with inner wisdom! Her glossy black hair billowed out behind her as she descended down the stairs. Like dark wings...

I wasn't the only man who noticed her unfortunately. Other eyes turned to her and were taken captive by the newcomer immediately. As one of these men, though, I can't say I blame them. However, the one to take her hand tonight will be me!

I approached the mysterious beauty. "Hello, my name is Charming. I was named that because my mother thought I would take after it. Will you do me the honour of giving your name?" I asked, holding out my hand.

A gentle smile graced her features and she put her hand in mine. "I am Princess Rose."

She gasped softly in surprise as I put my lips to her gloved hand. I smiled kindly at her. "A name befitting for a beautiful princess like you. I have to say, your appearance has made this ball finally worth coming to."

"Why, thank you." She didn't withdraw her hand! "Since we're already in this posture, how about we have a dance together?"

Yes, a dance! "It would be my pleasure." Although, I planned on asking her myself...

I have not participated in any dances in a ball before, because for some reason all the girls I happen to ask (out of obligation, of course) tend to refuse. I have only practised with Mother.

But, I am naturally talented and there is no way I can possibly mess this up!

Step to the left, step to the right... Sneak a compliment ("Your eyes shine more than any other jewel."). Spin the lady...

"Hello, Prince Charming. It's been a while."

Who dares interrupts us while we're dancing?!

The imbecile turned out to be Prince Leonard. Hoards of women lingered behind him. My face twisted in a grimace. "Get out my sight. You're ruining the moment."

Leonard returned the favour by curling his face up into a sneer. "Bah! Do you actually think that this woman enjoys _your_ company? Come woman." he grabbed Rose's arm. "Leave this idiot and join me."

H-how dare he?! This bastard has done enough!

Rose touched Leonard arm. Huh?! What is she doing? Sh-she can't be going with him, can she?!

Rose's eyes met with my own and she gave me a shining smile. Then she plucked Leonard arm off her own. "I'm sorry but I think I can decide for myself who want to be around." She glanced at the glaring banshees behind Leonard. "Why don't you ask one of those ladies over there? They look like they would gladly have a dance with you."

Leonard retracted his arm in shock. "W-what?! Why would you reject me?! And prefer that guy?! God, you have peculiar tastes in men..."

Rose just kept smiling.

Leonard stormed away and I stared at Rose in awe. Really, _I_ can admire someone? This person truly is the perfect woman, to make me stoop down to this level... I feel like... I can do anything for her so long as it makes her like me...

Now I understand how a 'gentleman' feels with a woman...

xxxxxxxxxxx

The next day, I was back in my own kingdom and eating dinner with my mother and Bear. I couldn't help but talk about my encounter with Rose. We had parted ways with the promise of meeting again.

"She was a goddess, Mother! With unrivalled beauty and eyes brimming with intelligence, even I cannot compare with her!"

"Really?" Mother was rather disbelieving.

"I know it's hard to believe when you have me but it's true! I swear on these golden locks of mine, she is worth more than any other woman in the world!"

Mother's eyebrow twitched. "Really? Even _me_?"

"Of course she's better than you Mother! Why, she has the grace of an angel, dances like her feet were made for it, her voice is sweeter than honey, her gaze made my insides melt like snow on a spring day and her laugh is like the tingling of bells..."

"_Pfft_."

Bear, who had been strangely quiet the entire time, started shaking. She faced the other way.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

"N-nothing, it's just... Pfft-HUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAH!" Bear collapsed from her seat and clutched her stomach on the ground, laughing. Much louder than usual. The intolerable sound echoed throughout the castle. I swear, even the villagers outside the castle could hear it.

"Charming, you just-" She couldn't finish her sentence without bursting in laughter again.

I stood up.

"Quit this nonsense at once!" I commanded.

Still she did not stop laughing.

"S-stop it!" My pride could not stand being made fun of like this! "If you cannot stop then get out of the dining room!"

The stupid bear didn't seem to hear me and bumped into the table leg in her writhing around on the ground.

In the end, Bear had to be dragged out of the room by my knights, without being able to finish her meal.

I fumed silently as Mother gave me a concerned look. This cannot go unpunished...

xxxxxxxxxx

Bear had to go without breakfast the next morning as punishment for her rude behaviour. But it didn't seem to bother her. In fact, she had the nerve to start chuckling when she saw me!

Although her stomach's grumbles were much louder.

This... I was certainly_ not_ satisfied with! Why on earth is she so happy when she is crushing my ego like this?! She needs to be put through worse pain!

And I had the best idea...

xxxxxxxxxx

"You want me to do _what?!_"

"Dance in front of every audience that we get today. It's as simple as that."

"No! I refuse!"

I smirked. "Do you really think you're in the position to refuse?" I asked, brandishing my tools.

"Wait! Not the rope! Please! And is that a whip?! Nooo!"

xxxxxxxxxx

I set off for another ball with a different reception from Bear. She growled at me like how a normal bear would as I rode off with Typhoon.

Mother seemed considerably happier too. She was especially pleased when she found out that I punished the bad-mannered bear.

Personally, I was satisfied with her reaction. She got a taste of her own medicine – being laughed at was not a fun experience. It serves her right!

Enough of Bear. This time, at the ball, I shall secure Princess Rose's heart!

xxxxx _Princess Rose's POV_ xxxxx

"My happiness at seeing you again is immeasurable! It must be fate!"

Ah, but I already knew where you were going to be beforehand so it is not fate. "It is quite the lucky encounter." I giggled, demurely raising a hand to my mouth.

"Would you give me the pleasure of this dance?" Charming offered his hand.

Ugh, not another dance. I'm sick of them. I'm not even good at it but this guy is too stupid to notice. "Of course." I said taking his hand.

We danced, but we were easily the worst dancers in the ballroom. I could see other people _discreetly _sniggering at us in the background. Not that the prince in front of me noticed because he was too busy spouting out cheesy lines or concentrating on dancing.

His concentrating face with the knotted eyebrows looked really cute though...

ARGH! Remember your mission girl! Revenge! Remember the humiliation you had to face!

I waited for the right timing then, I struck. "Ah, all this dancing has gotten me tired."

Charming perked up. "Oh, I do apologise my goddess." Ew, that _name_. "Forgive me for not noticing. Would you like to take a break by the refreshment table?"

"I would be glad to." Yes! Food!

He escorted me to the table with cake, roast meat, wine and other luxurious foods set up on it. I didn't care how expensive the food was. So long as it was food, it shall be essential to my plan...

I took a platter and piled it high with fattening foods. I sat down and wolfed the food down. Yes, it was a very unladylike thing to do and it was even worse since it was in the middle of a ball. Bah, like I could care about what others thought of me. They don't know who I am anyway.

It was Charming's image I was trying to bring down.

Imagine the shame he would feel when he saw that he fell for such a pig of a woman and the others laughing at him for it! He might even be called 'Mr Pig'!

I finished the food and washed it all down with two full glasses of wine.

As I looked at Charming's face, I realised how feeble my plan was.

He's still watching me with lovestruck eyes.

How?! Oh... He didn't bat an eyelash when Bear was greedily helping herself at the dining table did he? He's just not bothered by these things. Ugh.

I looked at the spectators and the disgusted faces they were making at me was enough. Very few looked at Charming. I blushed in embarrassment.

Gosh, Charming's reputation is obviously bad as it is. I could tell through the behaviour everybody has around him. I probably would have avoided him too if I weren't so close to him. My actions didn't make a difference and I only managed made a fool of myself.

I had no more time to wallow in self incompetence as I heard a familiar and _annoying _voice screech out: "A goddess you say! Young man, just what do you see in that girl?!"

"Mother!"

Surprise, surprise. Here comes the jealous old lady. She's as furious as an ox tonight.

She was walking gracefully (like she'd ever resort to hiking up her skirts and running) towards us with a displeased frown on her face.

Charming was happy to see her (Pfft, mama's boy) but he was confused at the same time. "Mother, what are you doing-"

"Come with me." She promptly grabbed Charming's ear and dragged him away without missing a chance to send me a look that screamed '_stay away from my boy!'_.

I giggled at the sight. What a pair! I am _so_ going to follow them.

They came into a room in the foreign castle (don't ask how the Queen knew her way around, she probably had her connections). I stealthily snuck into the room and hid behind the curtains to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Don't question my ninja skills, okay? They are brilliant.

The Queen had the Prince cornered. "I cannot believe you chose to like _that_ _vulgar pig! _She's a disgrace! What could you possibly see in her?!"

Ouch. She doesn't know I'm right here listening, but that hurts a bit. At least I'm prettier than you!

I peeked out and I saw Charming crossing his arms indignantly. "She's a better person than you Mother."

Ooh ~ He said it!

The Queen's rage was nearly intense enough to melt the castle. "_What!?_ How dare you make me inferior to that girl! Twice, even! That's it! You are to never see that girl again!"

No! That puts a lot of obstructions in my grand plan!

Charming's jaw dropped, absolutely horrified. "B-but-"

"No buts!" The Queen cut in firmly.

Charming cleared his throat and tried again. This time he had a serious face on. "Mother." At his tone of voice, the Queen looked at him square in the eyes. "I really do love this girl. I only wish I could convince you to approve. What could I do? Please, Mother."

Hmm, I have never seen this expression before. A desperate pleading look that had determination written all over it. I think I like this new side of Charming...

Wait a sec, approve of what? There _is_ no relationship yet!

The Queen frowned (c'mon old lady, can't you just give up?) and for a moment I thought she was going to say 'nothing'.

"I don't like that girl" Well, duh! "And I never will."

Charming's face fell. But his mother wasn't finished yet. "However," His face lit up and I could almost imagine a dog's tail wagging hopefully behind him. "I would like to hear the real reason why you want this girl in particular. She isn't just beautiful to you is she? Once you tell me, I may reconsider."

Huh? Real reason... Never thought of that...

I stared at Charming intently, waiting for his answer.

He hesitated, biting the inside of his mouth as if his next words were his deepest, darkest secrets. He seemed to be in inner turmoil, choosing between keeping his 'goddess' by his side or telling his mother something he doesn't want to tell anyone.

Charming spoke, voice shaking and being uncharacteristically timid. "The truth is..." he swallowed and took a deep breath. "She's the only woman who ever shown a mutual interest in me. She's the only one who even attempted to talk to me besides you Mother! Around her, it seems that I can truly... for once... feel special..."

Ah... He can be a decent human being after all...

"So, Mother... I want to marry her!"

_WHAT!?_

The Queen seemed to be in just as much shock as me and she looked ready to topple over. I clutched the curtains and grit my teeth.

But I couldn't stop the bubbling sensation in my stomach...

"_Pfft-huah-huah-huah-huah!"_

xxxxx Charming's POV xxxxx

_That laugh. _It can only belong to one person.

Countless times. Countless times that infernal creature has laughed at me. And to follow me here and mock me like this?! I will not stand for it!

I stomped over to the curtains where the chortling rang out from and pulled it aside. I heard a gasp behind me and the sound of my own beating heart almost stopped as well as the laughing.

Crouched behind the curtain and smiling sheepishly at me was Princess Rose.

_It was Rose who let out that laugh._

"The cat's out of the bag now..." she muttered. Whether it was from discovering her hiding place or discovering her identity, I didn't know.

My mind couldn't keep up and I blacked out.

xxxxxxxxxx

Rose was more of a mystery than I thought. Before, when I asked her which kingdom she came from she said she would rather keep it a secret. I_ still _don't know which kingdom she came from but she was telling the truth about being a princess.

It turned out she had a magic wheelbarrow that let her go where ever she wishes to go and that's how she followed me around without Mother noticing.

And _Bear_... She was truly Bear the entire time. She also had a magic cloak that made her _look _like a bear.

"_Obviously, in other people's eyes, I would look like a normal bear from head to toe – er toe-claw... thing. But underneath I was still a hundred percent human. I was not in a bear's body. Got it? You made a girl dance around in your throne room like some slave, not only mentally but _physically_!"_

That made me feel slightly guilty but it still was not enough to for me to regret it.

Now, despite all these magical items, Rose was a normal princess. She says she got those items from a witch.

However, this means that I kept a bear in my castle, tormented my mother and tolerated being laughed at... for a lie!

Her real name wasn't even Rose! And of course, it wasn't Bear either. It was Rosalind! She claimed to not technically lie about that. I don't know if I should disagree with that though...

To be honest, I found it normal that my feelings for her haven't changed. Maybe it has _a bit_. I did get betrayed after all.

Still, Rose – er – Rosalind remained captivating in my eyes. Even if she is running around behaving just like Bear. She has made the effort to stay with me all this time despite being able to leave now. It made me happy that she did.

So, the other day, I proposed to her. Properly. With a bouquet of flowers, the ring and the kneel.

I still can't figure out why she rejected me. I mean, it's me! The most dashing and wise being ever to live on this land! And not to mention charming! I was named this for a reason!

But I'm sure, she's just in denial. I shall make her succumb to my charms or my name isn't Charming!

xxxxx _Third POV _xxxxx

Arryn sighed. This couple, by far, is the most peculiar couple she has ever made in her lifetime. And she has made many, _many_ couples over the centuries.

When she approached that girl, sensing strong feelings of sadness at the time, she approached her as a witch. Normally, young girls Rosalind's age would fear witches or at least distrust them.

But this girl believed her words instantly and got out a cloak and wheelbarrow just as quickly. Maybe it was because of how she was raised. And she was pretty desperate as well.

The poor girl was trapped in her own castle by her paranoid father and if Arryn didn't rescue Rosalind, she might have died from going insane.

It must have been the books she had for company that made this princess so eccentric. In the first place she wanted to go to was a forest and she planned on living there if she wasn't found by Charming.

Now, Charming was the last man on earth – no the universe – Arryn would have paired with Rosalind. Surely she would have deserved better? Even, Arryn who was usually kind to everybody, was _repulsed_ by that man. When he dragged the unfortunate girl away from her 'peaceful' life, and especially when he made her dance, she was tempted to turn him into the arrogant pig that he was.

But fairy godmothers weren't allowed to mess with humans to this extent. She had to resist raising her hand. Furthermore, there was something about Rosalind's expression that made her feel like she shouldn't interfere.

It was an expression of conviction. Arryn saw it on her face that time when Rosalind realised she was free to go. She couldn't go until she made the prince know about his wrong doings. But at one point, her resolve became something else. She wanted to change Charming for the better.

Arryn viewed this as a good thing. Maybe Rosalind could finally find true happiness and the prince – who made trouble for every love fairy to find a match for – could be paired off and be out of their hands.

But Rosalind was_ much more_ eccentric than she thought.

Arryn watched the couple in her looking pond with mixed emotions running through her.

Rosalind did not forget that she wanted revenge.

"Roar!" A bear wore a wedding dress at the entrance of the private church. "Just kidding!"

The frozen audience (made up of only royalty and close friends) could only stare as their brains tried to comprehend what was happening.

The bear skipped over to the priest and urged him to do his speech. Only several years of saying the same speech over and over allowed him to let the words flow out fluently. The pair said their vows but Charming was more hesitant to do so. The ring were exchanged and the ceremony was over.

Realising this the crowd caught up. Their minds reached one conclusion. Prince Charming got married to a bear.

...Must be karma.

Arryn sighed again. This will be a story to be told for many years to come...

xxxxxxxxxx

**A/N: **… This has to be the most outrageous story I have ever written. So... what did you think? Did you kill yourself in laughter or was this absolutely rubbish? I probably wouldn't be offended. Sometimes, when I read it myself and think, "What did I just type?!" XD Just don't be too mean please.

Still, you guys are entitled to your own opinion. I would very much like to hear what you think of it though even if it's to say you laughed (Yeah, I'm practically begging for reviews).


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